Losing Motivation

I've always been motivated to succeed. I still am. I think. For some reason, my only passion right now is yoga. And I think this isn't a good thing.

I got a job. I already don't like it. It's day 3. I'm considering other options but I'm very afraid to sign a lease before exploring all my options and I'm afraid to sign a lease in general.

I almost want to just stay home. Almost. I know I need to leave. I'm just terrified. I've been trying to explore my fears. Why am I afraid?

Daily Practice

I NEED to practice yoga every single day. When I miss a day, I feel partially dead. I don't know why this is but currently- it's my reality.

Life Goes On

Lately I've been feeling like I'm doing nothing. Sure I'm practicing yoga daily. But still. I'm making some important life choices. I decided to move back to Colorado. My soul is there. And really, I just want to practice yoga. ALL THE TIME

I decided that I need to do yoga teacher training. The time is now. I really just want to dedicate my entire life to yoga. I don't know what it is amazing yoga. It's so transformative, so life changing. So why can't I practice all the time?

I've also been getting into Forrest Yoga. I didn't realize that Rockland actually has amazing yoga teachers who would open my mind to different ideas. I'm blessed.

I'm beginning to realize that I'm attracted to people who have a similar interest than me, but often a greater knowledge. These people serve as inspiration.

I'm learning. All I know is- I need yoga. Hopefully this passion will yield bliss.

I open my eyes

I love waking up to this song in my head.
"I open my eyes, each morning I rise
to find the truth I know that is there.
I'm lucky to breathe, I'm lucky to feel,
I'm glad to wake up, I'm glad to be here.
With all of this world, and all of it's pain,
all of it's lies, and all of its let downs...
I still feel a sense of freedom -
So glad I'm around."

Dancing though Life

My biggest fear is dancing. It always has been. Hopefully it won't always be. I can't let my body completely relax and move to the music. I can't lose control. I'm uncoordinated. I can't embarrass myself, struggling for my body to cooperate. 

Yoga is the closest I can get to comfortably dancing. It's a way for me to be graceful. It's how I can let go. 

While practicing, I breathe. I flow from one posture to another with the most elegance I can muster. I strive to live the way I practice -- just moving from transition to transition with rhythm and easy. 

In yoga, suppressed emotions have a way of arising. I've cried in yoga-- more than once or twice. Lately, my heart has been heavy. Uncertainty fills me, engulfs me. 

What if I'm making the wrong decision? What if things don't work out? What if I need to change my plan. The not knowing controls my every thought. 

I just want to flow. 

Going Home

"You know that point in your life when you realize the house you grew up in isn't really your home anymore?" - Garden State

I can't pinpoint the moment that I first felt unsettled in my parent's home, but I think that college changed me immediately. As soon as I discovered that I fit in somewhere, that I could have my own life, my own home, my parent's house lost its meaning.

Don't get me wrong, I love my parents. I love my dog. I love their house. I just need my own life, my own world. 

I have a life in Israel. I have a life in Colorado. I feel wanted in both places. I feel needed in both places. I feel empty and alone at "home." 

I hate not having a solid timeline. What if my plans fall through? What am I going to do? 

The Power of Compliments

I always appreciate compliments. From the simple, "love your shirt" or "you're the best" to the more intricate, individual-specific words of praise, compliments often light up my day.

In high school, I had a friend who did not appreciate compliments. She hated when I praised her, told her did something well or looked beautiful. I was trying to lift her up. Instead, she felt pain.

She was limited. She wasn't ready to be happy. I've learned to surround myself with loving, happy people to raise my soul. No one is happy all the time but misery is contagious.

Yesterday, I received praise that vibrated my heart. Feeling appreciated and whole makes me want to give back, achieve more and continue advancing myself.

May we all lift up.

Be light

Let irrational people, be irrational. It is not your job to change them. It is not your job to fix them. Embody light and others will benefit. 

I'm Alive

Michael Franti is the embodiment of pure bliss. I'm alive.

People Matter

If I've only learned one thing in life so far, it is this-- people matter. Surround yourself with love and give love back. There's so much light in friendship. It's important to know who will elevate you. I want to be by the most amazing people on earth at work and in life. Invest in people.