Dancing though Life

My biggest fear is dancing. It always has been. Hopefully it won't always be. I can't let my body completely relax and move to the music. I can't lose control. I'm uncoordinated. I can't embarrass myself, struggling for my body to cooperate. 

Yoga is the closest I can get to comfortably dancing. It's a way for me to be graceful. It's how I can let go. 

While practicing, I breathe. I flow from one posture to another with the most elegance I can muster. I strive to live the way I practice -- just moving from transition to transition with rhythm and easy. 

In yoga, suppressed emotions have a way of arising. I've cried in yoga-- more than once or twice. Lately, my heart has been heavy. Uncertainty fills me, engulfs me. 

What if I'm making the wrong decision? What if things don't work out? What if I need to change my plan. The not knowing controls my every thought. 

I just want to flow.